The Unsung Heroes

So, Tyler and I like to go out and try different restaurants. We love good food, especially when we don’t have to do the cooking or the dishes. Thinking back, I’d like to comment on some of the waiters we’ve had… tell me if you’ve had similar experiences.

The “I don’t know anything” waiter: This was the most annoying waiter I’ve ever had. I had her at a sushi restaurant. I’m not too knowledgeable about sushi, so we wanted to know what was good. She just said, “I dunno. It’s my first night.” Fine. I understand being new. But then she just stood there and stared at us. I would expect something a little better, like, “let me go ask around and bring you our menu with all the pictures on it.” But no. She just stood there and stared until we just picked something that wasn’t really what we wanted. Bleh.

The “Dried up and disappearing” waiter: Thirsty! I was so thirsty through this whole meal at Olive Garden. We got one cup of water. The waiter never filled them up again! When we wanted to order, we couldn’t see him or find him anywhere, when we wanted our check, same thing… and we wanted to get out of there because we were all so thirsty! We noticed that another table was set already with glasses of water and we ended up just taking them at the end while we were waiting for the waiter to return the credit card. Lame.

The “I have no friends so the people I wait on have to be my friends!” waiter: Ok, look, it’s nice to be personable, but I don’t want to hear about your whole freakin’ life history! This waiter at Outback Steakhouse spent five minutes at the table every time she came back! We were trying to talk to the people we came with, but it was hard because we felt like our waiter was eavesdropping the whole time and trying to get in on the conversation. I wanted to EAT the steak while it was hot. Alas, she stood there talking so long that I could never really get a bite–and when she finally left us alone for a minute, it was cold :(. How depressing. Then she made us feel all guilty about not getting dessert… like, she wouldn’t let it go until we just got up and left… That didn’t really make me want to go back…

The “ok” waiters: Just what you expect, nothing exceptional.

And then, there’s the “Snow” waiter: Not named for anyone in particular, mind you :). I’ve only had two waiters of this kind in all my eating out experience. The first was at Chili’s and the second was at Elephant Bar. This waiter knows what food to recommend–even how to improve upon the menu with substitutions, tops off water glasses or brings more fountain drinks at the right time, doesn’t stay too long at the table, and can get your check ready in two minutes flat. This waiter brings you more complimentary appetizers just as you’re getting your doggie bag ready to go…and they can find you the correct size doggie bag, even if you need a little cup to take the Awesome Blossom dipping sauce home in. You know you had a waiter like this when you don’t really want to leave the restaurant, it starts to feel like home–with your own butler. You’re satisfied. You’re happy. You actually want dessert even though it’s six bucks for a slice of cake. That’s the waiter that should be everywhere.

It has been said of old that the difference between Danielle Koberstein and a canoe is that a canoe might tip. But even I, Miss Cheap-o, will tip for a “Snow” waiter.

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